A newly developed magical Yosemite off-trail scampering route in the Cathedral Range, out of Tuolumne Meadows.
The around 18 mile loop I accidentally invented goes:
Backpackers camp to Lake Elizabeth, scamper up Unicorn peak, traverse up and over around Cocksomb, down treading the sparkly thin ridge of Unicornās Tail (self-named), down the āChasinā waterfall chutesā to the rocky valley traveling the full length of the base of Matthes Crest to Matthes lake. Then meander around back to the JMT to run 9.2 miles over Cathedral Pass to Cathedral Lakes and back to the highway to hitch down Tioga Road to The Mobil Mart in time for best fish tacos in the known universe.
Saturday July 10th, 2021
I am here, broadcasting live from the very tip of the unicorn horn, the center of the unicorn universe of the Yosemite high country.
I donāt always go out with an objective but a name like that and I had to go find out what it looks like! Unicorn peak does not disappoint.
I came up here to celebrate my birthday, and really Arwaās birthday as well (she is the Daughter of my hosts in Mammoth who turned 5 on July 4th). Being that she is in love with all things unicorn, I had to come up here with a pink strawberry lemonade in her honor.
Todayās climb started off fun right away! The trail actually wound the whole way around the right side of Lake Elizabeth, leading to a fallen tree and some interconnected white rocks starting their way upward. I said. āGoā and with some hopping and almost no trouble at all I found myself comfortably on some long white smooth spines extending the whole the saddle between unicorn and Cocksomb, the other pointed peak top in this white stone cathedral area. It was like walking around in a giant skatepark, of smooth granite ramps with the dopest banks and terrain features that only Mother Nature could dream up.
The Cathedral Range! An absolute favorite, so lucky to explore this and the Ritter range in the same week. On several previous years I have seen meteor showers reflected in cathedral lakes and was thinking about going back to camp there last night, but was pre-occupied with making friends at the general store and having a fun time camping at the the backpackers camp. You donāt often get to be a thru hiker and get to stay at the actual official Yosemite backpackers camp. Donāt wanna miss that experience!
You know I was actually a little worried coming into Yosemite, after exploring all the magnificent castles of the High Sierra south of here. Would the Yosemite of my fond memory still hold up? Would the granite domes still compare to the rock faces of Kings canyon!?
Well Unicorn Peak is here, loud and furious blasting through the speakers to remind you that Yosemiteās got āattitude and bad-itude, so show it some latitude and you'll win itās gratitude.ā (A direct answer, yes). The glorious white granite faces of the range shining like a beacon high into the clouds to remind your mind of the divine.
So I was scampering along the ridge, as up pops a couple across the way doing the same! They happen to be friends of Julie and Viren back in Mammoth, and were even at the same 5th Birthday block party on Sunday.
They said they were impressed to see me up here so far off trail, so I told them I see the PCT as the worldās longest and best approach trail, access to reach some of the best remote alpine boulders!
The boulders up here are like from a cartoon universe, one a burnt marshmallow, a giant dinosaur skull, even a tiny little wave making a perfect barrel to hang a tiny ten. A gnarly cracked wall with gritty street tags and lichens forming neon green and brown graffiti.
I put eyes on the Matthes Crest just upon summiting the rubble pile next to Cocksomb (yes that is the name lol, *phrasing*) and knew I had to go check it out. I had heard about it last year from friends on our backpacking trip near volgelsang (ābird songā in German) and didnāt quite understand what it was at the time. Well I sure do now, and I am making a bee-line straight for it, over a knife-edge ridge across the way that I have now named āThe Unicornās tailā since it hangs down from the broad back of the ridge above. I hardly canāt wait to scamper over and see whatās on the other side. Those chicken fingers back down at the general store might have to wait.
Surfing a nice hard toe side cut outta this frontside wave all the way down to the base Matthes Crest:
I watched some darker clouds gathering over by Mount Dana further to the west, and put some thought into wether it was smarter to turn around and head back the way I came for Lake Elizabeth. The wind seemed to be keeping the clouds far over there, and mostly bright sunshine over the lake helped me make the decision to press onwards.
I found some epic rocky hallways to slide down, giant gaps forming steep rocky canyons that connected all the way down to through the rocky face. āDoes it go?ā I wondered, and it sure does! Connected hopping rock between a sea of dried up waterfalls all the way down to a solid rocky ramp sweeping down into the valley below. I name them āThe chasinā Waterfall Cutesā and itās the route that connects the āUnicorn Backā to the āUnicorn Tailā allowing you to Rock hop off the āUnicorn Rumpā all the way down to the rainbow forest to the lake shore.
I was certainly out of water by now so the lake was the only option at this point. It was a perfect cool temperature, and I downed an entire liter then and there (after filtering) and laid on my back floating with my nose and eyeballs just over the water surface, my heels touching the soft gravel bottom. Enough time to sketch the warp-wave of the Matthes Skyline towering above and across from me, the rounded and jagged shadow reaching down into the valley.
I initially intended to make it down for the lake for a cool dip and turn around to head back up my waterfall chute, but those clouds finally stared making there way over and I heard a distant clap of thunder. Still burning hot and sunny at the lake shore, but I decided to get a move on.
I noticed on the map that if I followed the outflow creek from the lake it meandered its way around the corner of the ridge and back towards sunrise camp and the JMT. If I just kept going that way I would only add a little more mileage but I could avoid going back towards the ominous clouds and instead follow the trail back over cathedral pass, through cathedral lakes (which I am excited to see anyway) and back to the general store for a nice cold one before they close at 7pm.
I wound my way around the woods at the lower creek area, over more giant rocky slabs or skate ramps until I hit the sunrise camp side trail. (You could try to find where I came in, but you would scarcely see a footstep, Leave No Trace!). A bunch of switchbacks up over a ridge and I finally hit the main trail, the JMT coming up from the Valley and sunrise camp. Well maybe my calculations were a bit off, (ok maybe I just didnāt do any calculations) but the sign gave me a big roll of 9.1 miles to go back to Tuolomne and my plans for a cold one and big kale salad suddenly faded. It seems I might be late for my dinner reservation!
Unlessā¦the lightbulb in my head turned on and I realized I could do myself one better. For those who donāt know, the Mobil Mart gas station off Highway 395 at the Tioga Road junction in Lee Vining, just down the hill from the steep side of a Yosemite, also has the Whoah Nellie Deli, home of the best fish tacos this side of the Sierra.
I donāt know what time they close, but just the idea (not even a promise) of fish tacos causes me to start off in a gallop. I book it in that direction (yes, the correct direction) making for Cathedral Pass before sunset.
As I ran heel toe one step after the other in the sandy decomposed granite, and my headphones just bumpinā hits, I realize it. I feel it. I am it. Alive! So alive in this moment, thinking about fish tacos and giddy with joy and a big smile crosses my face as Jake Bugg rips a big riff on his guitar for the song āright in the path of a lightening boltā, and then Neil young sings me the horizon at one of the best golden hours of my life.
I am here, just before cathedral pass, a view behind me of thunderclouds stalled out over Unicornās Tail miles back where I was earlier, trying to outrun the closed sign at the best Mobil Mart in the known universe, and I am free (and maybe itās just the adrenaline from getting a solid run in, finally getting some real exercise on this darn hiking trip) that I have a tear in my eye because I am so busy living that Red from Shawshank Redemption is jealous on his beach in zijuantinajo.
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